Here’s how it went down. I came into my home office around midnight. I turned on the softer light in the room — it just felt right. I cleared away the meditation cushion and set up near the ottoman. An ottoman makes a great mini-altar to pray at in case you’re wondering. I opened up the Book of Mormon and turned to Moroni 10:4, which reads:
And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.
I then turned to Doctrines & Covenants 9:8. Here it is:
But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.
These are the classic verses used by Latter-day Saints for what I am calling “The Book of Mormon Challenge.” It’s a direct invitation to pray, with sincerity, about the Book of Mormon. You’ll find reflections on YouTube or elsewhere of Latter-day Saints talking about their “testimony” for their faith. On Testimony Sundays at the local meetinghouse, you get a whole bunch of them. Some involve crying, some just have a warm fuzzy feeling (burning bosom), others are all over the place. It’s often what brings people into the church. It’s a tangible, personal, and often extraordinary religious experience for Latter-day Saints.
I know the Holy Qur’an has several assurances of its own truth, but it never really challenges people to pray on it for an experience. It mostly boils down to “Hey, I’m true. Deal with it.” The Bible, quite frankly, doesn’t seem to care if you think it’s true. There’s a verse in Second Timothy that people like to use, but again, the Bible never challenges the reader to pray on it in order to have a religious experience. In my other sacred text explorations, I don’t think I’ve run into a single challenge like this. So here it is. The Book of Mormon. I accept your challenge.
I read and reread those verses a few times. I wanted to be sure I understood their intent correctly. The verse from Moroni makes a few asks of me:
- Ask God in the name of Christ;
- Ask with a sincere heart and real intent;
- Have faith in Christ.
I like to joke that on Tuesdays I believe in God, so it was a good day to try this out. I’m not quite convinced labels concerning belief or rejection of a deity are something worth wasting our limited lives on. But I guess for a moment this Tuesday just after midnight, I was a theist of some sort.
I have no problems praying in the name of Christ or even Jesus. I like Jesus. He was a revolutionary figure and couldn’t we all do more to bring about the kingdom he preached? But the Book of Mormon is specific here. Ask in the name of Christ. “Christ” is a title, not a name. Do I yearn for a Christ — a Messiah — that will deliver our world from war, hunger, evil, oppression, and so on? Do I want heaven on earth? Yes, I do. Do I know if this Messiah is one person or all of humanity? No idea. But as a Universalist, I have faith in the redemption of all things. Call it vain, call it naive, call it what you will.
I thought about the requirements from the Book of Mormon for a good while and came to the conclusion I could fulfill them. Should there be a God as the Latter-day Saints describe him, I would suspect this God would understand my reasoning.
The Doctrines & Covenants verse is taken from a revelation from Joseph Smith to Oliver Cowdrey to be patient in his scribe work. I fear it’s out of context here, but I’ve seen it used on Latter-day Saint websites and blogs for this very purpose. It also has some requirements:
- Study it out in your mind;
- Ask if it is right;
- If it is right, I’ll feel a burning in my “bosom.”
Okay. I don’t read these sacred texts flippantly. I really dig into them. I feel like I can go on and on about Zarahemla, Enos, and the Zoramites for days. Ask me about the Three Disciples and I’ve got an answer. Or Liahona…my dear Liahona. I quickly examined my mind and let the stories from the Book of Mormon fly through my thoughts. There’s an arc to the book that is interesting despite it’s many challenges.
The last two requirements meant getting down to business. I grabbed the Book of Mormon, held it close, and kneeled at the ottomon. I folded my hands somewhat awkwardly while holding the book and bowed my head. What unfolded next was roughly ten minutes of prayer. I didn’t write it down, but I’m pretty sure it followed a typical pattern people hear from me in public. I distinctly remember praying this: “Heavenly Father, should you be our God, I ask you to reveal the truth of this book I have read…”
Some of you reading this, especially if you are a member of the congregation I serve, are probably going: SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. I did this as sincerely as I could. I’m not afraid of a religious experience, even if it is one that questions or challenges my faith. I’ve had plenty of them in my life and here I am, doing all right. I figured, if I receive some sort of sign — some feeling — some burning in the bosom — I don’t quite know what I’ll do with that, but it’ll be a part of the myriad religious experiences I’ve encountered in my life.
I finished praying. I set the Book of Mormon down. I waited. Nothing happened.
Let’s be clear, I didn’t expect a Joseph Smith moment. I didn’t expect a road to Damascus moment, either. I don’t quite know what I expected — I was just following directions and trying to be as sincere as possible. Maybe the Latter-day Saint God doesn’t like that I’m openly gay and married to a man? Or an ordained minister? Or that I only support Democrats? And Planned Parenthood! And Black Lives Matter! Maybe my commentary was too cheeky at times?
Or maybe I’ve not had the conditioning so many people do have before they pray like I did. I’ve not met with missionaries face-to-face in a long time, though I’m always nice enough to them. I’ve not attended a meetinghouse and become a part of the community. I’ve lost touch with most of my Latter-day Saint friends. I’m heavily involved in a religious tradition and community already — one that encourages spiritual exploration and questioning. Perhaps I’m not inclined toward conversion of any kind?
There’s another option here (and i’m sure others as well). Perhaps it was impossible for me to be sincere because I believe the veracity of the Book of Mormon speaks for itself. I believe that if any rational person reads the book, they can find merit within it and understand the joy and spiritual growth it brings to millions of people — but I also believe that when it comes time to ask whether or not it is true, the deficiencies of the text are readily apparent.
It is through wrestling with the deficiencies, errors, mishaps, and uncomfortable sometimes ugly parts of a sacred text that allow truth to shine through. An inerrant Bible is a deplorable book. An inerrant Qur’an isn’t that much better. An inerrant (or perfect or whatever word LDS use) Book of Mormon is just as spiritually vacuous. And there’s my bias. The truth I look for in a sacred text is: “What is this telling me about the human condition?” — complete with all of our faults.
That’s my real prayer. That these texts — any text named holy — are dealt with honestly. The Bible and Qur’an are so much more beautiful when their humanity is recognized. How much more could it be for the Book of Mormon?
This post is part of a larger series where I read the entirety of Latter-day Saint scripture in 15 days. Take a look at the original post for more info, as well as links to other reflections on this journey.